Final Words of Wisdom

Well, it's finally here; I am 40 and so here are some final things I've learned in my four decades:

1. Playing dress up with two little nieces using colanders for helmets and bath towels for capes is pretty darn fun, no matter how old you are.
2. Katie and Ruthie, here's a little advise from wise Untl Toad, since you're the oldest there is an expectation that you must tease, unmercifully at times. There's no avoiding it, no matter what your parents tell you, this is your right and an expectation. Here's the important part, you must try to do it in such a way that the younger one's are blamed. With practice I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.
3. Jack and Anna, if things get too bad, you can always pull the older sibling's hair out. I still have some bald patches thanks to Chelsea.
4. Lily and Maddie, I don't think you need any coaching. You are both so adorable and you already know how to play to this strength, neither of you will ever be in trouble. You both have the most powerful position of all, you get to stir up trouble between the older two and then just burst into tears if things start to go sour for you, it works every time. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
5. Underlining words in a Hallmark card exhibit how much you love the person you are giving it to; the more lines the more love.
6. Eat Kolacky until it hurts, it's worth it!
7. Never put a Fish Stick on your car, unless you want to be made fun of.
8. "Thumbtanic" is a much better film than "Thumb Wars," although I wouldn't mind seeing "The Lord of the Thumbs," that might be pretty good.
9. A young child, who's never learned to swim, never will after seeing "Jaws."
10. Go back to # 4 for this one. When your youngest sibling calls you crying, just know you'll do whatever she wants, including getting a dog. This particular experience was well worth it.
11. Finally, when people ask your age, tell 'em you're starting at 20 again to try to get it right this time.