A Few Additional Words of Wisdom

The pressure has been on to find some additional nuggets to share with my friends and family as I approach (shudder) 40. Here ya go:

1. Nothing beats coming home to a wagging tail and whines of joy, of course that could also be Lucy's way of saying, "It's about time you jerk. I have had all four paws crossed trying to hold it in for an hour!"
2. At 20 I spent the least amount of time I could with my family, at 40 I don't see them as often as I would like.
3. The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the crap they fertilized the yard with.
4. The programming on the television does not stop when you turn it off and restart when you turn it back on.
5. Sometimes a compliment can be taken the wrong way, "Mommy I hope you enjoy the silk flowers I got you, they'll last longer than you will."
6. Never trust an artistic hairstylist who says, "You've got great lines in your hair, do you mind if I just go with them?" The answer should have been "no!"
7. Always knock before entering someones room, no matter if you think they heard you calling them or not.
8. Never, and I mean never, use liquid soap in the dishwasher, unless you are going for a Lawrence Welk extravaganza special; even then be cautious, you might get more than you bargained for in the bubbles department.
9. The longest hours of my childhood were from 7pm to 8pm on Saturday nights at my grandmother's house. I watched more polyester circle the dance floor amid bubbles than I could stomach on the Larence Welk show, while not so patiently waiting for Love Boat and Fantasy Island.
10. The best night of TV is a toss up, either Wednesdays at 9:00 (Charlie's Angels) or Sundays from 8:00 to 10:00 (Knight Rider and A-Team).
11. Spiders are scary, vicious creatures! One forced my car into a neighbor's mailbox.